life's nutt what it should be

feeling the air blow not through your hair, but around your head is a peculiar feeling. not one, for the other weary 17 year old girls. alopecia is a slap in the face that indeed is a WIG moment. it leaves you hairless, and confused.

I lost my hair throughout the third year of high school, making me a spectacle for my high school class. being called things like a “cancer patient” or “sick” weren’t things I took lightly, yet were also things I didn’t know how to combat. When I began to lose my hair in patches, I started to feel extremely self-conscious. rightfully so. It didn’t fall out in shapes of continents or in little hearts like a rad body move, NO it fell out in shitty little blobs. so, like the little girl I was, I tried to rock backwards hats like the frat boy I WAS NOT for a month or so. but despite my efforts, these blobs peaked out of my frat hat and caused questions to arouse from people in my classes. once it started to fall out more and more, I made a choice, one I will be proud of for as long as I live. I shaved all of those hairs holding on for dear life right off my scalp. it was freeing, really.

All around it wasn’t an extremely fun time, BUTTT it taught me a very valuable lesson.

own that shit. fr. why go around allowing others to belittle you, own your struggles. they chose you, so choose them right back. walk around with a gleaming-shiny head and don’t give a fuck. prove to yourself you are stronger than you first believed and walk hand in hand with what you once let control you and identify you. and don’t let it have that power any more.

who cares if you are bald? you are conquering more by simply walking out in public, than someone is who takes two hours to perfect their Goldilocks curls. you aren’t hiding behind your attempts to look perfect, you are accepting it’s more than okay to be the opposite. being imperfect is rewarding. you are defying society’s attempts to make you feel ‘inferior’ or ‘broken’ and showing them you are indeed more than how you seem.

YOU EMBRACE THE SUCK.

alopecia could have easily made me it’s bitch. but like any life struggle, it only held power as long as I let it do so. fight life’s attempts to make you feel smaller than you are. you are a 7 foot basketball payer who can dunk by simply standing on their tippy-toes. you aren’t the 4 foot person you think who has to jump into that bar stool.

don’t let life have the upper hand, it’s YOUR life, you own it.

 

choose authenticity over conformity– 

our skin isn’t made to be comfortable; it’s made to be a barrier between us and the dangers of the world…although germs aren’t the typical society scares. owning who you are is easier said than done. being your true self requires certainty, conforming simply requires the basic human skill of watching and learning. when you choose your ways over others it can be much more rewarding though. there is dignity and confidence that walks hand in hand with authenticity. BE YOU. it is more rewarding.

get clear on your vision and goals–

to avoid being stuck in a puddle of quicksand, you must keep moving along with preparation for the obstacles to come. although, it is incredibly tempting to sit on your phone scrolling or binge watch a show all day, it isn’t going to improve your mental well being or your progress in life. set goals, get organized, take steps down the right path.

decide to love and accept yourself–

make a choice each day to see your beauty. compliment yourself each morning in the mirror. love your quirks. admire your sloppy posture and lengthy body, and freaking own it. you are unique and special in your own ways. just because the world might say that isn’t beauty, doesn’t mean it is not. redefine the meaning of true beauty and use yourself as the main example. accept yourself, yes, but aspire to do more than that. embrace yourself for who you are on the outside and on the inside.

clean up your mindset–

that complex little organ in our skull can produce so many ideas that it can be completely overwhelming. take a breath. or a few. separate those negative thoughts from the truth. sometimes it’s hard to remove them, so instead swap them out for positive ones. push those negative thoughts to the back so they get lost in the madness that is our brain. allow only the positive to stay and prosper  towards the front. keep thoughts such as reminders of those that love and appreciate you or how you plan to move forward with those goals you have set in your life.

free yourself from your past–

forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. the ability to let go of past grievances and knots we are consumed in, allows for more joy, compassion, and inspiration. to see other’s mistakes and your own as things that happened but no longer have control of you allows you to conquer things that may have hurt and bruised you. you are not your past. you are your future, and what you determine is best for you from this day froward. stop looking back, it’s behind you for a reason.